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duminică, 11 august 2013

Amuzante (2)

Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.
Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t die, he simply returns zero.
Linus Torvalds first written program had artificial intelligence.
Linus can divide by zero.
Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toster.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t receive error messages.
There is no theory of probability, just a list of events that Linus Torvalds allows to occur.
Linus Torvalds does not sleep. He hacks.
Linus surfs the web using nothing but netcat.
Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.
Linus made the red pill.
Linus Torvalds didn’t learn from the University of Helsinki, the University of Helsinki learned from Linus Torvalds.
Linus Torvalds once developed a programming language so good that it makes python look like punch cards.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t need to boot.
Linus is real, unless declared Integer.
Linus doesn’t push the flush toilet button. He simply says “make clean”.
Linus Torvalds has no dependencies.
Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years...
Linus can enrich himself simply by chowning your bank account. He does not do this because there is no challenge in it.
There are no man pages for Linus Torvalds, only god pages.
Linus Torvalds can do an infinite loop in five seconds… in his head.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t wear glasses anymore not because he had laser eye surgery, but because he finally got his xorg.conf properly configured in his head.
Linus Torvalds can use a nice level lower than -20.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t need to mount his drives.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t debug. His programs are always perfect.
Linus Torvalds can install Linux on a dead badger.
Linus Torvalds doesn’t need backups. He just uploads his files and lets the world mirror them.
Linus Torvalds is taking over the world. Microsoft is just a diversion so that no one would suspect a mild mannered Finnish programmer.
Linus Torvalds already has Linux 4.0. He is just keeping it to himself to build suspense.
Linus Torvalds didn’t design Linux to run on the 386. Intel designed the 386 to run Linux.
People pray to Jesus, but Jesus prays to Linus Torvalds.
Linus need not worry about Microsoft patent crap, he simply do `sudo mv /tmp/ms /dev/null`.
Linus Torvalds is more powerful than root.
If you could read Linus Torvald’s mind, you’d find that his stream of conciousness is entirely in binary.
Linus scared A and B away, so they had to make C.
Linus only has 2 buttons on his keyboard ’1′ and ’0′
Linus’s kernel never panics.
Linus does not use the GCC, he _writes_ binaries.
Linus Torvalds doesn't just have "rwx" permissions for his files, he has all permissions from "a to z".

Sursă: http://www.linuxscrew.com/2007/10/28/fun-chuck-norris-vs-linus-torvalds/

Really, I’m not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect.
Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it.
Software is like sex; it’s better when it’s free.
Is “I hope you all die a painful death” too strong?
Most days I wake up thinking I’m the luckiest bastard alive.
An infinite number of monkeys typing into GNU emacs would never make a good program.
Talk is cheap. Show me the code.
I’m a bastard. I have absolutely no clue why people can ever think otherwise. Yet they do. People think I’m a nice guy, and the fact is that I’m a scheming, conniving bastard who doesn’t care for any hurt feelings or lost hours of work, if it just results in what I consider to be a better system. And I’m not just saying that. I’m really not a very nice person. I can say “I don’t care” with a straight face, and really mean it.
Those that can, do. Those that can’t, complain.
You see. I don’t think any new thoughts. I think thoughts that other people have thought, and I rearrange them. But Sara, she thinks thoughts that never were before.

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